Judy Martin of Work/Life Nation recently conducted a great video interview with me about the findings from the NEW 2011 Work+Life Fit Reality Check – Check it out! Thanks, Judy.

DESPITE RECENT RECESSION, NEW RESEARCH FINDS FINANCIAL & JOB INSECURITIES NOT THE BIGGEST OBSTACLES TO WORK LIFE FLEXIBILITY

Time & Workload are the Problem in 4th Edition of Work+Life Fit Reality Check; Survey Shows Notable Shifts in Work Life Flexibility Concerns, Satisfaction and Use over Five Year Period

June 9, 2011 – Just as employees have gotten comfortable with the idea of work life flexibility, worrying less about the impact it has on their paychecks or careers, new research shows increased workloads or no time are now the biggest obstacles.  The finding is from the 2011 Work+Life Fit™ Reality Check, a telephone survey of a national probability sample of 637 full-time employed adults, sponsored by Work+Life Fit, Inc. and conducted by Opinion Research Corporation March 3 – 7, 2011.

The current Work+Life Fit Reality Check, first conducted in 2006, has a margin of error of +/- 4 percent and also found:

• During the recession, about nine out of ten respondents said that their use of work life flexibility either increased (11%) or stayed the same (76%).
• While in the recovery, nine out of ten felt their level of use of work life flexibility would increase (10%) or stay the same (82%).
• Compared to this time last year, more than eight out of ten report they have the same (66%) or an increased amount (17%) of work life flexibility.
• Without work life flexibility, 66% believe the business suffers with employee health, morale and productivity as the most affected areas.
• Looking for a new job is the plan for more than one-third (35%); 33% of those cite a more flexible schedule and 25% the ability to telework as a reason.  (Job search questions sponsored by CareerOwners.com.)

“Whatever flexibility there was before the downturn survived, indicating it is here to stay in good times and bad.  Work life flexibility withstood its toughest test and continues to grow,” said Cali Williams Yost, CEO, Work+Life Fit, Inc.  “But – just when employees start to worry less about using flexibility – now they think they’re too busy to do so.  Clearly, both organizations and employees struggle with how to make flexibility work as a meaningful and deliberate part of the way we manage our business, work and lives.”

Yost will discuss the findings at a free webinar Tuesday, June 14 at 1 p.m. EST. Register at http://bit.ly/myQLyR.

Obstacles Evolve and Put Organizations at Risk

Fewer respondents report obstacles to using or improving their work life flexibility, 61% in 2011 compared to 76% in 2006.  The most cited (29%) obstacle in 2011 was “increased workload or no time for flexibility.”  But, despite going through one of the worst economic recessions ever, financial and perception worries have progressively become less problematic.

• You might make less money:  21% in 2011 versus 45% in 2006
• You might lose your job:  16% in 2011 versus 28% in 2006
• Others will think you don’t work hard:  11% in 2011 versus 39% in 2006
• You worry that your boss would  say “no”:  13% in 2011 versus 32% in 2006

“These findings are proof that the workplace has become more comfortable with flexibility.  The challenge is to continue to address roadblocks that often unnecessarily hinder how we optimize and benefit from flexibility personally and organizationally,” Yost said.  “Flexibility should be used to manage increased workflows and dwindling resources, not be avoided because of them.”

Otherwise, 66% of those surveyed indicated the possible risks that result from a lack of work life flexibility.

• Health is affected—you’re stressed or lack time for exercise: 48%
• Morale is affected—you don’t feel good about working at your company or organization: 41%
• Productivity is affected—you can’t get your work done as fast as you like: 36%
• Focus and attention, or engagement, is affected—you can’t concentrate the way you would like to on your work: 34%
• Loyalty is affected—you’re not as committed to your employer and/or boss: 34%
• Creativity is affected—you have a harder time problem solving or coming up with new ideas: 31%

“Organizations and employees must move forward together taking a hard look at what, how, when and where work is best performed; how technology can support – not overwhelm – that work; and why they should champion flexibility as an operational and financial tool.  The time has passed for seeing flexibility simply as a perk offered at certain ideal times,” Yost explained.

Get the complete Executive Summary of 2011 Work+Life Fit Reality Check survey

Get Takeaway Tips for Employers from the survey findings

Get Takeaway Tips for Individuals from the survey findings

Connect with @caliyost on Twitter, and in the “Make Flexibility Real” LinkedIn group.

(This post is the featured article in the May issue of the Flex+Strategy “How To” Make Flexibility Real newsletter.  )

Individuals can’t manage their work+life fit without some degree of flexibility in how, when and where work is done.  Conversely, flexibility in the way work is done can’t become a targeted business strategy if individuals don’t know how to use it.  And most don’t.

For individuals to use flexibility deliberately and thoughtfully, they need to have the right mindset, tools and training. Only then they will be able to capture and direct that flexibility toward a solution that meets their personal needs and the goals of their job.  Most can’t.

Creating this critical employee-employer partnership is the reason I wrote my book Work+Life: Finding the Fit That’s Right for You (Riverhead, 2005). It’s also why we are the Flex+Strategy Group/Work+Life Fit Inc., to reinforce clearly the importance of both sides of the equation.

The truth is that a corporate flexibility strategy won’t ever be more than a feel-good policy or program if employees don’t know how to manage their unique work+life fit (not balance) and vice versa.

According to the Towers Perrin 2010 Global Workforce Study, employees know they are responsible for their own well-being but fear they don’t have skills to handle role .  They want more freedom and flexibility in their work, but need support to enable new level of self-management

But very few organizations prepare their employees to be effective flexibility partners.

Recently I presented to a group of HR professionals and asked “how many of you train your employees to develop, negotiate, and implement flexibility plans that are a win for them personally, their team, their manager and the business?” Only 1 person out of 50 raised their hand.

This group is not unusual.  According to World at Work’s 2011 Survey on Workplace Flexibility “most organizations do not specifically train employees to be successful” with flexibility.

Why is this?

Historically, the theory has been that we need to train managers (I say theory because according the same World at Work study manager training on flexibility isn’t happening either).  Managers do play a key role in the partnership.

Managers lay out the vision, provide the information and set the tone.  This creates the environment that supports the ongoing conversation and leads to solutions which benefit the business and their people. But managers can’t come up with the specific work+life fit answer for each employee, and putting them in that position is the fastest way to make him or her dislike flexibility.

If flexibility training for employees does exist, the focus tends to be on “how to” fill out a formal flexibility request form and worksheet.  Again, that’s important but only one small piece of the puzzle.

What’s the answer? (Click here for more and to read this month’s case study, “The Employee Who Learned ‘How,’ Stayed and Thrived.”)

Join us!  Friday, May 13th at 12 pm EST during the “Employee as Partner: Flexibility’s Missing Link.” Click here to register, and  here to have the Flex+Strategy “How To” Newsletter delivered monthly via email.

(This post originally appeared on the blog of a wonderful non-profit, Women With Drive, founded by my friend Molly Cantrell-Kraig)

Some people call me an expert, but, really…I’m an explorer continually searching for new and better ways to help people manage their work and life.

This 15 year journey has led me to write a book, Work+Life: Finding the Fit That’s Right for You, start a blog, and help companies to become more flexible in the way they work.  But Molly Cantrell-Kraig’s invitation to write a guest post for Women With Drive (Twitter @WWDr1ve) was a unique opportunity to stop and reflect upon what I’ve learned.

For this post, I challenged myself to pick out the “Top 10” work+life fit tips that I think every woman should know.  It wasn’t easy, but here’s my list. Remember, I’m an explorer on a never-ending quest to learn more, so I really want to hear what you think too!

1. There is no “balance,” only the unique way work fits into the rest of your life day-to-day and over time (for more check out The 10 Tyrannies of Work-Life Balance).
2. Contrary to popular belief, you can choose what your work+life fit looks like about 70% of the time (which is way better than 0%).  Nothing is ever perfect and even the most careful plan will change.  But being thoughtful and deliberate about the choices you make and actions you take does ensure that more of what you want does happen in work and in the rest of your life.  Make 70% your bar of success…not “perfect.”
3. Managing the way work fits into your life is a practice not a destination. You will never “have” work+life fit.  All you can do is try to make your “fit” the best it can be based on where you are now.
4. Keep a calendar with all of your work and personal “to dos” in one place so that you have a complete picture of your life. And if you aren’t comfortable adding your personal goals and responsibilities to your calendar at work, keep your personal calendar with you on the job.   Glance at them both a couple of times throughout the day to stay on track.
5. Take 20 minutes each week to sit quietly and ask yourself what you need more of/less of in your “fit” and make it happen. Small actions make a big difference.  A cup of coffee with a friend.  A half an hour walk.  Lunch with your daughter.  An appointment to get your hair cut.
6. Understand that it’s about managing your time and your energy. Taking care of yourself requires time but it gives you more energy…so it’s a net gain.  Women tend to feel guilty about taking time to sleep, eat well, and exercise especially if it means we’re not focusing on others.  But, a good night’s sleep, a healthy meal, and a yoga class, for example, prepare you to give even more (and better!)
7. Make your back up plans in advance so you are prepared and less frazzled. For example, who will take care of your child when they are sick, or if there’s a snow day?  Who will walk your dog if you have to stay late at work?  How will your mother get to the doctor if you can’t take her?
8. Prioritize managing your personal finances. Having a handle on your money—no matter how much or how little you have—is critical to your long-term work+life fit success.  When my parents divorced 35 years ago, my mother had very little money and few job prospects, but she was always careful and deliberate with what she had.  By the time she retired, she’d paid off her house and car and was able to truly enjoy retirement.   That careful management, even when there wasn’t much, gave her choices in the long run.   (Great resources for women: Manisha Thakor, Daily Worth)
9. Don’t let pride stand in the way of asking for help from your community, your friends, and family. We are not superwomen.   Ask.  Someday you will pay it forward.
10. Finally, guilt is a corrosive energy-waster. Stop comparing yourself to others.  Everyone has different circumstances; therefore, they will have a different work+life fit. Maybe you can’t make it to your child’s school events as often as another parent because you have to work.  That doesn’t make them right, and you wrong.  It’s about making it all fit together the best way it can…right now.

What advice would you give to other women to help them more successfully manage the way work “fits” into their lives?

Did you find the information in this post helpful?  If so, I invite you to also visit my Fast Company blog and connect with me on Twitter @caliyost. Also, you might be interested in our NEW!  How-To “Make Flexibility Real” Newsletter and LinkedIn group.

What do you do when an event comes out of left field and lays waste to your carefully planned work+life fit?  This is the question I discussed with my friend, radio host Maggie Mistal, when I appeared on her “Making a Living” program last Friday.

Life recently threw Maggie a curveball when her newborn son arrived two months early while she and her husband were on vacation.  Now, they are living and working temporarily from another city until their son is able to travel back home.

At some point, most of us will deal with a sudden change in circumstances.  My most recent curveball happened five years ago when my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. Immediately your priorities shift.  How do you triage and rethink your goals, your schedule, and your responsibilities both at work and in the other parts of your life?  Here are some of the tips that Maggie and I discussed during the show:

Remember that curveball events typically have three distinct phases:

1. The initial crisis—You are just making it through minute-by-minute
2. The holding pattern—The crisis has passed, but the situation has yet to resolve itself or settle into a new reality.  You’re operating less minute-by-minute and more day-by-day.  And finally, you will move into…
3. The post-curveball reality—You’re clearer about what your work capacity will be going forward and you’ve regained some level of control over the other parts of your life.

Try not to fall into all-or-nothing thinking, and avoid making a rash decision to quit.

Especially, during the crisis phase, it’s easy to become overwhelmed.  You start to think “I can’t deal with this and work at the same time.”  Even I had this reaction when I got the news about my mother.  But thankfully I pulled myself back from the edge, and took a breath.

While quitting may seem like the only choice at the moment, it may not be the best answer.  First of all, most of us need the money.  Secondly, you may be surprised to find that work is a welcome distraction especially when you move into the holding pattern.  Try not to make any major work or life related decisions until the crisis period passed.

Be honest with your boss, team, clients, friends, and family.

99% of the people in your life will be understanding and supportive at least in the crisis phase and early stages of the holding pattern.  In terms of how much you share, both Maggie and I agree that you should tailor the information to your audience.  However, in my experience, managers, clients and team members appreciate simple, consistent updates.  This is especially true once you move into the holding pattern period, and you can start actively testing your capacity for more work.

Unfortunately, 1% of the people in your life won’t be able to show up for you emotionally or physically—let it go.   Don’t expend the extra energy you don’t have now.  File away the lack of support and, if you need to, deal with it later.  A woman who called into Maggie’s show talked about how unhelpful the president of her company was when she needed time during the adoption of her child. But she waited until after the adoption was completed to quit and get a new job.

Gather your resources.  You don’t need to handle the curveball experience all by yourself.

This is especially difficult for people who are used to being in control.  Regardless, you need to let others help you.

Perhaps there’s a work colleague that you respect who can take on some of your responsibilities.  Delegate “to dos” to your family members and friends who’ve offered to pitch in.  I can never repay the group of women in my town that provided meals to my family three nights a week for the last few months of my mother’s life.  But I will confess, initially, I refused because I didn’t want to be a bother.  It took my friend Nola saying, “Shut up, Cali.  They’re coming whether you like it or not,” to make it happen.  And it was a godsend.

Also, if you work for a company that offers work+life benefits and leaves, use them.  Remember the Families Medical Leave Act doesn’t have to be taken all at once.  It can be used over time in small chunks.

Once you’ve move into the holding pattern phase, begin to test your capacity for taking on more work but be patient.

Your priorities will continue to shift and change.  See what you can and cannot comfortably take on.  Perhaps it will help to be more creative and flexible in how, when and where you work.  For example, on Friday, Maggie broadcast her show remotely from Florida, while I sat in her New York studio.  You wouldn’t have known the difference.    When my mother had cancer, I often worked remotely from the hospital.

Build in even small moments of wellness.

This is so important yet can be incredibly hard, especially in the crisis phase.  But once you’ve moved into a holding pattern, gather your resources and use them to find time to care for yourself.  Take a 30 minute walk outside.  Try to get a good night sleep.  Eat at least one healthy meal a day.

Again, think small steps taken consistently so you aren’t overwhelmed.  The goal is not just functioning at your best during the curveball event.  You want to emerge from the experience as strong as possible and ready to move forward in the post-curveball reality.

Has life ever thrown you a curveball that’s made you triage your work+life fit?  What helped you reset your work and personal responsibilities and goals when your priorities changed overnight?

Did you find this post helpful?  If so, I invite you to follow me on Twitter @caliyost and at Fast Company.  Also, please sign up here to receive our NEW “Make Flexibility Real” How-To Newsletter.

In addition to being the author of a smart, engaging new book, Success: How We Can Reach Our Goals, Heidi Grant Halvorsen writes The Science of Success blog for Psychology Today.  Recently, she asked me to explain work+life “fit” for her readers.   The following is an excerpt from her post.

Like a lot of working parents, I find myself constantly juggling both professional and personal goals, trying to find time for everything that matters, and sometimes feeling like I’m screwing it up big time.  So for a little wisdom and practical advice, I turned to Cali Williams Yost, the CEO of the Flex+Strategy Group / Work+Life Fit, Inc., a flexibility strategy consulting firm. (Her book is  Work+Life: Finding the Fit That’s Right for You).

Me:  Why is it a problem for us to think in terms of work-life “balance”?

Cali:  When your goal is work-life “balance,” it causes more problems than it solves.  In fact, here are what I call the 10 Tyrannies of Work/Life Balance:

1. Balance is always discussed in the negative-what you “don’t” have.
2. Balance keeps you focused on the problem, not the solution.
3. Balance assumes we’re all the same.
4. Balance infers that there is a “right” a answer.
5. Balance leads us to judge others (and ourselves), often unfairly.
6. Balance results in unproductive guilt.
7. Balance suggests that the goal is an impossible 50-50 split between work and the other parts of your life.
8. Balance leaves no room for periods where there’s more work and less life, and vice versa.
9. Balance ignores the fact that work and life are constantly changing, and
10. Balance will never be taken seriously by corporate leaders, who only hear “work less” when you say “balance.”

Plus, have you ever noticed that when the term “work-life balance” is written out, there’s either a “-” or a “/” between work and life?  The truth is that work and life are one and the same today.  Not separate.  You may want them to ultimately be as separate as possible, but you need to start from the premise that it’s all one big ball of time and energy that you need to deliberately and consciously manage.

Me: What is “work+life fit” How will I know when I have it?

Cali: Work+life fit is the way work “fits” into your life, day-to-day and at major life and career transitions.  It’s like snowflakes.  Everyone has a different work+life fit reality.  No two are the same.   Thinking about the goal as work+life “fit,” frees you from the ten tyrannies of balance above because you:

1. Talk about what you could have.
2. See solutions.
3. Know we’re all different.
4. Realize there’s no right answer.
5. Stop judging yourself and others, harshly.
6. Lose the guilt.
7. Embrace and plan for the ebb and flow of work and life, and
8. Increase the likelihood that corporate leaders will support the need to flexibly manage work and life better and smarter.

How will you know you “have it?”  (Click here for my answer to this great question that Heidi posed!)

There have been many noteworthy milestones during my decade-long  Work+Life “Fit” ® campaign.  But one of the highlights happened last Thursday when U.S. Secretary of Labor Hilda Solis used the term “work+life fit” a number of times in her keynote address at the Department of Labor Women’s Bureau Conference in California.  Here’s an example:

“Employers need to know that there are tools out there…It’s a balance, having that competitive edge and work-life fit.”    Yup, (emphasis mine).

This particular forum highlighted the unique flexibility needs of low wage workers to manage their work and life.  Her use of the term is exciting because, as I’ve noted before, “fit” makes a big, meaningful difference.  The language allows us escape the innovation-killing “10 Tyrannies of Work/Life Balance,” which are:

• Balance is always discussed in the negative-what you “don’t” have.
• Balance keeps you focused on the problem, not the solution.
• Balance assumes we’re all the same.
• Balance infers that there is a “right” answer.
• Balance leads us to judge others (and ourselves), often unfairly.
• Balance results in unproductive guilt.
• Balance suggests that the goal is an impossible 50-50 split between work and the other parts of your life.
• Balance leaves no room for periods where there’s more work and less life, and vice versa.
• Balance ignores the fact that work and life are constantly changing, and
• Balance will never be taken seriously by corporate leaders, who only hear “work less” when you say “balance.

And embrace new possibilities because with “work+life fit” we:

• Focus what we could have.
• See solutions.
• Know we’re all different.
• Realize there’s no right answer.
• Stop judging yourself and others, harshly.
• Lose the guilt.
• Embrace and plan for the ebb and flow of work and life, and
• Increase the likelihood that corporate leaders will support the need to flexibly manage work and life better and smarter.

This is particularly important when addressing the flexibility needs of low wage workers.  Their work+life fit realities, and therefore, the solutions that will work for them and their employers are different from salaried or exempt employees.  The report that outlines those specific solutions, “Flexible Workplace Solutions for Low-Wage Hourly Workers” by Workplace Flexibility 2010 and the Institute for Workplace Innovation, will be released in March, 2011.

So welcome to the “work+life fit” club, Secretary Solis!  It’s nice to have you onboard.  After I finish this post, I’ll put a copy of my book, “Work+Life: Finding the Fit That’s Right for You (Riverhead/Penguin Group)” in the mail so you can see that indeed the tools do exist and have existed for years.  The book, which was published in 2004, outlines the steps that individuals need follow in order to meet their employers halfway and use flexibility to find a fit that’s a win-win for everyone.

Now, if we could just get the President and First Lady Michelle Obama to join in…Imagine!

Related post of highlights from Pasadena DOL conference: “Gaining a Competitive Edge in the Global Economy–Using Flexibility with Hourly Workers in Healthcare” from Corporate Voices.

For more on work+life “fit” and strategic flexibility, I invite you to also visit my FastCompany, as well as join me on Twitter @caliyost.

Originally posted on FastCompany.

I recently attended two conferences where researchers presented studies on the Millennial generation’s beliefs and expectations related to how work will fit into their lives throughout their careers.

The conclusion of the research was not surprising: 20-somethings expect a great deal of flexibility. They expect flexibility in how, when and where they work while employed, but also they want to flexibly manage their careers.

However, I cringed during the presentations when the two 50+ year old researchers both commented that men and women in this generation may be a bit “unrealistic.” I was taken aback because these goals may seem fanciful in the context of an Industrial Age economy, but they’re more understandable when you consider what Millennials have witnessed during their formative years.

Millennials watched the concept of work and career change fundamentally. Technology and globalization decimated the boundaries between your job and your life and rendered the promise of the full-time job with benefits obsolete; therefore…

20-somethings need to be “unrealistic” about their work+life fit

In a recent article for The Christian Science Monitor, Lindsay Pollack commented on the findings of the “Shaping a New Future” study of 1,000 Millennial women that she conducted with Levi’s Strauss & Co, “They are living life on their own terms, and we can learn a lot from how they are navigating our 21st Century world.”

What does that world look like in terms of work and careers?  It’s unpredictable and self-directed. Two recent surveys (Workforce Trends Study and Manpower) found the use of temporary talent by companies instead of full-time employees “is a post-recession phenomenon that is here to stay.”  Not surprisingly, the 2009 Emerging Workforce study reported that 94% of respondents felt that an employee should seek their own career opportunities, and only 24% were satisfied with the growth and earning potential in their current jobs.

Millennial expectations align with this dynamic, free agent existence. As I’ve written before, we would all benefit by sitting up, taking notice and learning.  Examples of new more flexible ways of managing your work+life fit have gotten attention recently and include:

• “New Model for Work/Life Balance on Wall Street” (WSJ, 1/3/11) project-based investment banking.
• “168 Hours” by Laura Vanderkam, challenging the 9-to-5, Monday-Friday workweek
• “Never Get a Real Job” by Scott Gerber, encouraging young entrepreneurs.

There’s only one caveat…there must also be a new, updated, “realistic” approach to money.

Money—making it, spending it and saving it–is different in the world of a flexible work+life fit.  In other words, it’s not your grandfather’s or even your father’s financial reality.

The steady, ever-increasing paycheck deposited into your bank account every other week has given way to a more inconsistent, unpredictable, multi-stream, project-based cash flow.  This requires an updated, “realistic” approach to finances outlined in the new book, Generation Earn, by US News & World Report columnist Kimberly Palmer.

Unlike more traditional “how to” personal finance books, Palmer attacks the financial implications of this new Millennial work+life fit reality head on by covering topics such as:

• How to create and manage multiple streams of income either as your primary means of support or as a supplement to your main job. (Includes excellent advice from Michelle Goodman, author of Anti 9-to-5 Guide).
• How to manage the “new” frugality and buy green.
• How to create a flexibility plan to present to your boss when you need to adjust your work+life fit.
• How to calculate the “true” cost of staying home once you have a child (page 148—important because you need to “factor in the value of future earnings and promotions” in order to get an accurate picture)
• How to negotiate living with your parents again, and
• How to face the (tough) reality that you will have to fund your own retirement.  It’s important because, as Palmer points out, the existence of Social Security for this cohort is tenuous.

Yes, according to Industrial Age thinking, the expectations of Millennials for job and career flexibility may seem “unrealistic.”  But in the context of today’s circumstances, they make sense.

When, where and how 20-somethings work and manage their lives is going to look very different from the experience of most Boomers and many Gen-Xers.  This requires not only a new, more flexible work+life fit model, but also, as Generation Earn points out, a completely new relationship with money.

Do you think Millennials are “unrealistic” about their work+life fit expectations or do you believe they are adapting what work and careers will look like going forward?  How do you believe the way we manage our personal finances needs to change?

I invite you to sign up for our new Making Flexibility Real “How To” eNewsletter and follow me on Twitter @caliyost.

Like clockwork, in the last week of December, people start asking me, “My New Year’s Resolution is to find more balance.  What’s your top how-to tip?”  Every year, my answer is the same, “Stop looking for balance and start finding your unique work+life fit.”

But this year, my response is more emphatic.  You see, for ten years, I’ve patiently waited for everyone to realize that balance is an anachronism.  A holdover from an Industrial Age, with all of its boundaries and rules, that no longer exists.  But clearly the realization hasn’t sunk in given the number of Google Alerts for “work life balance” in my inbox over the past two weeks.

This outdated concept of “balance” is a major roadblock that stands between us and having true, meaningful flexibility in the way we manage our work, life and careers, because:

1. Balance” is always discussed in the negative. “I don’t have balance.” “I am out of balance,” which…
2. Keeps you focused on the problem, not the solution. You have the power to make countless adjustments (both large and small) in the way you work and manage your life (as long as you know how), but you’ll never see them because balance…
3. Assumes we’re all the same. We’re not.  At any given time, we all have a completely unique set of work and personal circumstances which precludes a consistent solution.   For Kate, who’s on the steep learning curve of a new job and works long hours, getting to the gym and seeing her friends every couple of weeks is enough.  But for Mark, three days a week mentoring new sales people is perfect, because he can delay retirement for two years and see his grandchildren more.   Work+life fit is like snowflakes.  I’ve never heard the same fit twice, but balance…
   
4. Infers that there’s a “right” answer. There isn’t.  If the work+life fit reality for each of us is completely unique then there’s never going to be a “right” way.  I’ve met an investment manager who runs a tree farm on the side, an accountant who’s a mom and a competitive ballroom dancer, and an entrepreneur who gets home twice a week for dinner with his kids and tries to slip in time to surf during his 80-hour workweek.  They’ve all found a work+life fit that works for them in the context of their unique jobs and personal realities.  No one is right.  No one is wrong, yet balance…
5. Leads us to judge others, often unfairly. Honestly, we need to give each other and ourselves a break.  We have no idea what’s going on in someone else’s life or in their job, but we can learn strategies from each other.  “How does an entrepreneur get home for dinner and surf?”  “How do you manage investments and run a tree farm?”  “How does a mother work as an accountant and find time to be a ballroom dancer?”   Instead of judging, we can inspire, but balance too often…
6. Results in unproductive guilt. If each of us has a unique work+life fit, then there should be no (or at least less) guilt.  If that fit works for your unique work and personal circumstances, rock on; however, the trick is to understand that not everyone can do what you’re doing. This is the missing piece.  How can create a culture that allows all of our unique work+life fit realities to coexist together?  Circumstances will change.  One day you’re able to work 80 hours a week, then because of unexpected eldercare responsibilities you can work no more than 20 hours, but balance…
7. Suggests that the goal is a 50-50 split between work and the other parts of your life. In today’s competitive, service-oriented, global economy there are very few jobs where a consistent amount of work will be done on particular days within certain hours all of the time.   Even 15 years ago, you could count on a pretty reliable schedule.  And you could walk out the door at the end of the day and not have to reconnect to work until you walked back in.  No longer.  To find a fit that works for you and your job, acknowledge this inherent work flow inconsistency and connectivity.  Plan as best you can to create boundaries around technology and to accommodate the inevitable work+life ebbs and flows.    But balance…
8. Leaves no room for periods where there’s more work and less life, and vice versa. If you want flexibility in your workplace to succeed, then you need to be flexible with it.  In other words, if an unexpected project has to be completed and you’re supposed to leave at 4 p.m., occasionally step to the plate and stay without complaint.  The unanticipated will happen.  Conversely, maybe you’ll experience a chronic illness (like when I had Lyme two years ago).  Suddenly there’s a lot more life than work, but balance…
9. Ignores the constantly changing reality of work and life. When your goal is “balance” any and all changes will throw you off.  My experience is that very few of us know how to think through, plan for and adjust our work+life fit in response to the personal and career transitions we know are happening, much less the events that happen unexpectedly.   And, we need to because balance…
10. Will never be taken seriously by corporate leaders. As I’ve written before, when you say “balance,” all that corporate leaders hear is “work less” and the conversation goes nowhere.  The minute I started talking about the goal in terms of work+life “fit,” these same leaders began to engage.  They saw that they too have a work+life fit that matters to them, but also that there was a business benefit to giving everyone more flexibility to work smarter and better in today’s economy.

Escape the tyranny of balance in 2011.  Focus on how to optimize your work+life fit in 2011 and you’ll:

• Talk about what you could have
• See solutions
• Know  we’re all different
• Realize there’s no right answer
• Stop judging yourself and others
• Lose the guilt
• Embrace and plan for the ebb and flow of work and life day-to-day and throughout your career, and
• Increase the likelihood of that your boss will support greater flexibility in the where, when and/or how you work and, in turn, manage your life.

Tell me…How can escaping the tyranny of “balance” help you find your fit in 2011?  I really want to know!

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Thank you to Scott Petoff of the Vacation Counts blog for his positive review of my book Work+Life: Finding the Fit That’s Right for You (Riverhead/Penguin Group, 2005) on his blog and on Amazon.  It’s thrilling that six years after it was originally published the book’s work+life “fit” message continues to resonate. Here’s what he had to say:

“I recently finished reading two highly recommended books and posted my reviews at Amazon.com.  The first is called Work + Life and is subtitled “Finding the Fit That’s Right for You.”  As you can guess it is about work-life balance but in this case the author Cali Williams Yost re-brands it as Work-Life Fit.  I can agree that the term “balance” has been overused and lost much of its meaning over the years.  Today when you say that you have no work-life balance, most people assume that you are working too hard and want to work less.  In very simple terms this implies “good” for employee, “bad” for employer.  Of course the reality is that most overworked Americans clock not just too many hours per week but also fail to use the limited number of vacation days they have earned to take (much deserved) time off from work each year.  Since there is no one-size-fits-all approach to balancing work and life and since the balance one seeks varies at each stage of life and career, the word “fit” captures the reality better.  Your approach to work (how much, where, when) that meets your life goals must be agreeable to your employer and that is where this book comes into play – as you life and career coach.”