(This post originally appeared in Forbes.com)

A couple of weeks a ago I facilitated a work+life fit panel of senior women business leaders at the Forte Foundation’s MBA Women’s Conference. The conversation between the leaders and the student attendees was so rich and informative, I thought it would be interesting to continue the dialogue in a series of posts on ForbesWoman.

The goal of our panel was to share lessons learned with students from our journey to fit work into our very different but equally busy lives. To make the dialogue as open and honest as possible, all of the panelists moved our chairs to the other side of the official dais. I even asked the students to imagine this was a “girls afternoon out” rather than a conference in the hopes it would make them comfortable to ask even the  most basic questions.

Our session could have continued far beyond the 75 minutes allocated. The work+life fit concerns of the young women MBA students were insightful and important. And the responses from the panelists were equally as interesting and oftentimes different. But the point wasn’t to get an “answer,” but to start a supportive, candid dialogue across the generations from which we can all benefit.

My next few ForbesWoman posts will highlight a different question posed by one of the MBA students either to the panelists or offline to me afterwards. I hope the community will jump in and offer their thoughts, so that together all of us, but especially the next generation of women leaders, can “Lean into your careers.”~Sheryl Sanberg COO, Facebook.

Here’s the first work+life fit inquiry….

“Should I Tell People I’m Leaving Work to Go to the Gym, or Should I Just Go?”

To disclose or not to disclose, that is the question.  The answer is a tough one  (Click here for more)

Originally posted on FastCompany.

I recently attended two conferences where researchers presented studies on the Millennial generation’s beliefs and expectations related to how work will fit into their lives throughout their careers.

The conclusion of the research was not surprising: 20-somethings expect a great deal of flexibility. They expect flexibility in how, when and where they work while employed, but also they want to flexibly manage their careers.

However, I cringed during the presentations when the two 50+ year old researchers both commented that men and women in this generation may be a bit “unrealistic.” I was taken aback because these goals may seem fanciful in the context of an Industrial Age economy, but they’re more understandable when you consider what Millennials have witnessed during their formative years.

Millennials watched the concept of work and career change fundamentally. Technology and globalization decimated the boundaries between your job and your life and rendered the promise of the full-time job with benefits obsolete; therefore…

20-somethings need to be “unrealistic” about their work+life fit

In a recent article for The Christian Science Monitor, Lindsay Pollack commented on the findings of the “Shaping a New Future” study of 1,000 Millennial women that she conducted with Levi’s Strauss & Co, “They are living life on their own terms, and we can learn a lot from how they are navigating our 21st Century world.”

What does that world look like in terms of work and careers?  It’s unpredictable and self-directed. Two recent surveys (Workforce Trends Study and Manpower) found the use of temporary talent by companies instead of full-time employees “is a post-recession phenomenon that is here to stay.”  Not surprisingly, the 2009 Emerging Workforce study reported that 94% of respondents felt that an employee should seek their own career opportunities, and only 24% were satisfied with the growth and earning potential in their current jobs.

Millennial expectations align with this dynamic, free agent existence. As I’ve written before, we would all benefit by sitting up, taking notice and learning.  Examples of new more flexible ways of managing your work+life fit have gotten attention recently and include:

• “New Model for Work/Life Balance on Wall Street” (WSJ, 1/3/11) project-based investment banking.
• “168 Hours” by Laura Vanderkam, challenging the 9-to-5, Monday-Friday workweek
• “Never Get a Real Job” by Scott Gerber, encouraging young entrepreneurs.

There’s only one caveat…there must also be a new, updated, “realistic” approach to money.

Money—making it, spending it and saving it–is different in the world of a flexible work+life fit.  In other words, it’s not your grandfather’s or even your father’s financial reality.

The steady, ever-increasing paycheck deposited into your bank account every other week has given way to a more inconsistent, unpredictable, multi-stream, project-based cash flow.  This requires an updated, “realistic” approach to finances outlined in the new book, Generation Earn, by US News & World Report columnist Kimberly Palmer.

Unlike more traditional “how to” personal finance books, Palmer attacks the financial implications of this new Millennial work+life fit reality head on by covering topics such as:

• How to create and manage multiple streams of income either as your primary means of support or as a supplement to your main job. (Includes excellent advice from Michelle Goodman, author of Anti 9-to-5 Guide).
• How to manage the “new” frugality and buy green.
• How to create a flexibility plan to present to your boss when you need to adjust your work+life fit.
• How to calculate the “true” cost of staying home once you have a child (page 148—important because you need to “factor in the value of future earnings and promotions” in order to get an accurate picture)
• How to negotiate living with your parents again, and
• How to face the (tough) reality that you will have to fund your own retirement.  It’s important because, as Palmer points out, the existence of Social Security for this cohort is tenuous.

Yes, according to Industrial Age thinking, the expectations of Millennials for job and career flexibility may seem “unrealistic.”  But in the context of today’s circumstances, they make sense.

When, where and how 20-somethings work and manage their lives is going to look very different from the experience of most Boomers and many Gen-Xers.  This requires not only a new, more flexible work+life fit model, but also, as Generation Earn points out, a completely new relationship with money.

Do you think Millennials are “unrealistic” about their work+life fit expectations or do you believe they are adapting what work and careers will look like going forward?  How do you believe the way we manage our personal finances needs to change?

I invite you to sign up for our new Making Flexibility Real “How To” eNewsletter and follow me on Twitter @caliyost.

How Employees Can Partner with Employers: Work+Life Fit in 5 Days Series

Work+Life Flex “How to” in Pictures: #1 Don’t get stuck on the innovation curve

Work+Life Flex “How to” in Pictures: #3 Focus on fact that same flexibility keeps business open in snowstorm, cares for aging parent (and more)

Work+Life Flex “How to” in Pictures: #4 Making flexibility real takes more than traditional policy, toolkit and training

I recently attended and spoke at the APA’s Psychologically Healthy Workplace Conference.  The goal of the conference as outlined by the APA’s visionary Assistant Executive Director, Dr. David Ballard (who also happens to have an MBA) was to celebrate and learn from,

“Employers who understand the link between employee well-being and organizational performance strive to maintain a work environment characterized by openness, fairness, trust and respect, even when difficult actions were required.  These employers are positioned for success in the economic recovery and will have a distinct competitive advantage in their ability to attract and retain the very best employees.”

The conference was organized around the core elements of the Psychologically Healthy Workplace Model:

Over the past few days, other speakers and attendees have shared their insightful overviews of the conference in the following posts:

• “the more we get together the happier we will be” post by presenter, Fran Melmed of context communication consulting, llc
• “The benchmarks of a psychologically healthy workplace” post and video by presenter, Judy Martin of WorkLife Nation
• “Building the business case for employee well-being” post by Marie-Josee Salvas Shaar for Positive Psychology Daily News

My main takeaway from the two days was simply that…every CEO should regret not attending, both professionally and personally.

Had they participated, they would have learned about strategies to resolve many of their organization’s most vexing bottom line challenges—employee stress, lack of employee engagement, high cost of health care, truly leveraging diversity, etc—issues that directly impact growth and profitability.

CEOs would have heard the former U.S. Secretary of Labor, Alexis M. Herman, in her introduction of the winners of the Psychologically Healthy Workplace Award point out the three main challenges facing companies as we move into a “do more with less” era:

• More role ambiguity as everyone takes on more roles and responsibilities which increases the level of job stress.
• Increased inter-generational worker tension as Boomers work longer, but graduates can’t find work.
• Increased worker polarization and isolation as workers who lose jobs can’t find work at the same level of income or status.

But perhaps most importantly, CEOs would have seen how they benefit personally from strategies that create a psychologically healthier workplace.  They would realize that they’re not alone in the isolation of overwhelming work+life challenges and stress which are outcomes of a work+life fit model that no longer suits even for those at senior levels.

A recent CNN.com article, “Why Being a CEO Should Come with a Health Warning,” highlights the research conducted by Steve Tappin for his book, The Secrets of CEOs. From his interviews with 150 CEOs, Tappin learned that: (click here for more)

David Brooks‘ thought-provoking piece in this morning’s New York Times calls older Americans on the carpet for, “Far from serving the young, the old are now taking from them.”  He then urges the older generation to use their time, energy and the internet to reverse this trend by starting a spontaneous national movement that demands changes in health care spending and the retirement age, “to make life better for their grandchildren.”

Okay, makes sense, but here’s the rub.  And I think Seth Godin said it best in a recent blog post:

“Baby boomers are getting old. Dreams are fading, and so is health. Boomers love to whine and we love to imagine that we’ll live forever and accomplish everything. This is the decade that reality kicks in. And, to top it off, savings are thin and resource availability isn’t what it used to be. A lot of people ate their emergency rations during the last decade. Look for this frustration to be acted out in public, and often.” (Emphasis mine)

This means that for David Brooks’ older people’s movement to take off a couple of things need to happen:

• First, we must address the harsh reality that for many older Americans the demand for greater government support is grounded in real (or perceived) financial need.
• Second, we have to get more creative.

Yes, expensive mandates like health care spending and Social Security require new approaches.  But what else can we do that would give older Americans non-governmental financial support, and greater time and energy for other parts of their life?   The answer: more later-in-career, work+life flexibility.

As part of the movement, older Americans should ban together, learn how to present a well thought-out plan, and propose creative, flexible work+life fit solutions to their employers.  This might include but is not limited to:

• Reducing hours and shifting responsibilities. For example, the seasoned newspaper editor who reduced his schedule and took on responsibility for teaching younger reporters how to write compelling stories, faster.
• Becoming a consultant who supports the business during specific busy periods, or in a particular area of expertise.  For example, experienced accounting firm partners who consult during busy season doing audit reviews.
• Job sharing with another older worker covering a specific function. For example, two plant managers takeover shared responsibility for the quality review process at their facility.
• Becoming part of a “coverage pool” that supports the business when people call in sick or go out on leave. For example, a group of experienced tellers are “on call” to cover a group of five offices in a region.  They work on average two to three days a week.

Another option would be for older workers to pursue an Encore Career where they earn money and give back.

Adding greater work+life flexibility to Brooks’ spontaneous, national movement would do more than just reduce the public financial burden on the younger generation.  Companies would retain valuable knowledge and experience.  And older workers, especially those “who ate their emergency rations over the past decade,” would make money and get time for other parts of their lives.  This is important because, quite frankly, I haven’t met too many 70+ year olds who are thrilled about the thought of going to work all day, everyday.

So why isn’t work+life flexibility part of the vision?  How do we get the movement started?  What do you think?

Striking out on your own, either voluntarily or involuntarily, is becoming a more common experience along an increasingly flexible career path.  And, it turns out entrepreneurship is especially appealing for members of Generation Y.   In her terrific new book, Upstarts – How Gen Y Entrepreneurs Are Rocking the World of Business and 8 Ways You Can Profit from Their Success (McGraw/Hill), Donna Fenn says we all need to pay attention,

“They were born between 1977 and 1997, and you can call them what you like; I call them entrepreneur generation.  There are approximately 77 million of them, and their sheer numbers, combined with the rate at which they’re starting businesses, will make them a force to be reckoned with…these “Upstarts” are destined to have a profound effect on the economy and specifically on the small-business landscape.”

In a recent interview, I asked Fenn to talk about some of the ways Gen Y entrepreneurs were transforming the future of work, life and career… for all of us:

CY: Welcome, Donna Fenn!  One of the reasons I love your book is that I want business leaders to expand their understanding of work+life flexibility, or flexibility in how, when and where work is done and life is managed.  Flexibility, in all of its forms, is a strategic lever that has broad application as a way to run your business.  The Gen Y entrepreneurs in your book seem to fundamentally see flexibility as a way of operating.  Here are some examples from the stories in the book:

• Cost Saving: Having all or part of your workforce work remotely to save overhead costs, such as real estate.
• Talent Resourcing: Using a combination of full-time, part-time, and “as needed” employees.
• Productivity/Engagement: Letting people flexibly manage their lives and work as long as they produce.  This boosts morale and productivity.
• Marketing/Brand Development: Devoting a certain number of hours a month to community service to promote their brand and motivate employees.

Do you think these Gen Y entrepreneurs are applying strategic work+life flexibility consciously or intuitively?  What do they “get” that many business leaders over 30 years old struggle to understand?

DF: This generation is going to have enormous impact on the future of work for all of us, as employers of their own business but also as employees.  They are hardwired for this more flexible and innovative way of operating we know is very important.

They want to work with their friends. They want to have relationships at work, and they want to play and have fun.  People might shake their heads, “What a spoiled bunch of kids,” but think about it.  What’s it like when you play games in the middle of the day?  You find out a whole lot about people that you otherwise might not know.  Like who’s trustworthy, or super competitive.   There is value to game playing and it’s a stress reliever at a time when we are working really hard.  To the older generations, there is still this dividing line, “When I am working I’m working.  When I’m playing, I’m playing.”  This generation doesn’t see it that way.

CY: From the book, it is clear that Gen Y entrepreneurs aren’t rigid about where they work. (Click here for more)

“The National Study of the Changing Workforce is here!  The National Study of the Changing Workforce is here!”  Yes, that’s how I responded when I received the 2008 National Study of the Changing Workforce (NSCW). Ever since I worked at Families and Work Institute, the NSCW has been one of my favorite pieces of research (yes, I have favorite pieces of research).  Not only does the NSCW offer a very accurate snapshot of the prevailing work+life reality in a given period of time.  But, more importantly, it gives us an opportunity to step back and see if the way we are collectively talking about and thinking about work and life matches reality.  In my opinion, it doesn’t.

My recent conversation with a female MBA student at one of the top business schools provides a perfect example.  She called to interview me for the student newspaper and wanted some tips for women MBAs about how to manage their work and life after they got out of school.  My first tip—“Realize that managing work and life isn’t just an issue for women.  In fact, men report higher levels of work-life conflict.”  Not surprisingly, she responded, “What? Really?” It wasn’t until I showed her the results of the NSCW, and she confirmed the findings with male MBA students that she began to understand how outdated her assumptions were.

Here are other highlights from the NSCW that together create a snapshot of today’s work-life reality.  As you read, ask yourself, does the picture below inform the way:
•    I think about and talk about work-life issues (even if different than my own circumstances)?
•    My manager/employer thinks about, talks about, and addresses work-life issues?
•    The media presents work-life issues?
•    The government addresses work-life issues?

Reality #1: Women and men under 29 years old are equally likely to want jobs with greater responsibility, which was not the case in the past when men were more likely to report wanting more responsibility.

Reality #2: Women under 29 years old with children are no less likely than women without children to want jobs with more responsibility, which was not the case in the past when women with children were less likely to want jobs with more responsibility.

Reality #3: Women’s labor force participation continues to increase, with 71% of mothers with children under the age of 18 working in 2007.  In 2005-2006, women earned a majority of all bachelor’s degrees (58%) and master’s degrees (60%).

Reality #4: 79% of married employees are part of a dual-earner couple (up from 66% in 1977).  In 2008, women contributed 44% of the annual dual-earner family income, up from 39% in 1997, which makes the loss of their jobs even more detrimental.

Reality #5: For the first time in 2008, the percentage of men and women who agree with the statement that “it’s better for all involved if the man earns the money and the woman takes care of the home and children” was inconsequential and not significantly different (42% of men and 39% of women in 2008, versus 74% of men and 52% of women in 1977).

Reality #6: In 2008, 73% of respondents either strongly or somewhat agreed that “a mother who works outside the home can have just as good a relationship with her children as a mother who does not work,” a big increase from 58% in 1977. Interestingly, even though a majority of men agreed with the statement in 2008 (67%), they do still lag behind the women (80%).

Reality #7: Employed fathers are spending significantly more time with their children under 13 than they did in 1977, with millennial fathers reporting the biggest increase.  Men are also:
•    Taking more responsibility for the care of the children (49% say they take more or equal share of care in 2008, versus 41% in 1992)
•    Doing more or an equal share of the cooking (56% of men in 2008, versus 34% in 1992)
•    Doing more or an equal share of the house cleaning (53% of men in 2008 versus 40% in 1992).

Reality #8: Not surprisingly, “Men’s reported level of work-life conflict has risen significantly from 34% in 1977 to 45% in 2008, while women’s work-life conflict has increased less dramatically and not significantly: from 34% in 1977 to 39% in 2008.” And the level of conflict is even higher for dual-earner fathers, with 59% experiencing some or a lot of conflict in 2008, versus 45% of dual-earner mothers.

What did you think?  Does the reality outlined above inform the way:
•    You think about and talk about work-life issues?
•    Your manager/employer thinks about, talks about, and addresses work-life issues?
•    The media presents work-life issues?
•    The government addresses work-life issues?

I think we have a long way to go before the perceptions and the debate related to work-life issues on all of these levels matches reality.  Hopefully, the NSCW will help close the gap. What do you think?

A couple of interesting work-life resources/opportunities:

1. Work & Family Life is a monthly, cost-effective magazine that companies and organizations can distribute to their employees.  Work & Family Life is full of great work-life related information (click here to view a recent issue).  For more information contact the publisher, Dr. Susan Ginsburg at workfam@aol.com or 1-800-278-2579
2. Are you a mom interested in sharing what it was like to transition from working woman to working mom?  FWO Consulting is conducting a national online survey of moms to learn more about this often challenging change.  To learn more about FWO and the survey, go to http://www.fwoconsulting.com/.   Another resource for women transitioning to motherhood is provided by Rachel Egan at Maternity Transitions www.rachelegan.com.

Most of my recent blogs have focused on creatively and flexibly managing through the current recession, with a focus on flexible alternatives to layoffs.  But I continue to keep my eye on the future.  Thinking about what lies on the other side, or the post-recession workplace reality, there are trends gaining momentum in the downturn that will play key role in the future.  One of these trends is personal branding.

If you’re over 30 years old or don’t participate in social media, you may not have heard much about personal branding.  But it’s here to stay, and is something you’ll have to pay attention to in order to take charge of your work+life fit.  Good news–there’s a terrific new, easy-to-follow book that can get you started, Me 2.O by Dan Schawbel.

What is personal branding?  Here’s the definition from Schawbel’s book:

“Personal branding describes the process by which individuals and entrepreneurs differentiate themselves and stand out from a crowd by identifying and articulating their unique value proposition, whether professional or personal, and then leverage it across platforms with and consistent message and image to achieve a specific goal.  In this way, individuals can enhance their recognition as experts in their field, establish reputation and credibility, advance their careers and build self-confidence.”

Why is personal branding and the information in Schawbel’s book important today and post-recession?  Here are some specific applications:

1) We will all need to find ways to stand out in a job market where rapid change is going to be the norm, or as Schawbel says, “In today’s competitive career marketplace, you need to stay relevant to survive.  One way to achieve relevancy is to constantly acquire new skills…Incorporate these skills in your personal branding kit in order to improve your current organizational role or change career paths.”  Believe it or not, whether you work for a company or work for yourself, being mindful of your personal brand can, as the book points out, build your credibility, showcase your character, attitudes and actions in ways that “instill good feelings in others.”  In other words, having a resume and a good cover letter isn’t going to be enough.

2)  Social media is a critical, yet underutilized or misunderstood, tool for managing your personal brand especially if you haven’t searched for a job since 1997.  Schawbel points to the year 1997 as the demarcation date when social media such as blogging, Facebook, LinkedIn etc. began to influence hiring decisions in the marketplace, and I think he’s right.  As someone who has to make it a point to find time to blog consistently, update Twitter and LinkedIn, I sympathize with those who say, “I just can’t imagine finding the time to do all of that.”  The good news is that once you start, you do get into a groove and it becomes second nature.  But getting started is important, and Me 2.0 outlines in very simple terms how to begin. If you already use the various forms of social media, he also gives you some good advice on how to take it to the next level.

3)  Gen-Y may be the book’s target audience, but Gen-Xers and Baby Boomers will find it helpful too, maybe even more so. Schawbel says his book is primarily for Gen-Ys and people coming out of college, and it has case studies and examples for new grads.  But as a 44 year old with experience using social media I found the book very relevant.  And I imagine that other Gen-Xers and Baby boomers being introduced to the concept of personal branding for the first time would learn even more.

4)  If you are a parent, you need to understand how to help your child build and think about their personal brand, especially online, before it’s too late. This is one of the unexpected “ah-has” I had while reading Schawbel’s book. As a parent, it’s not just my personal brand I need to manage.  I need to make sure I understand how to guide my children to start thinking about how they are presenting themselves to the broader world via social media, because what goes on the internet lives on the internet forever.  This can effect their college and job search opportunities years later.  Every parent should read this book, especially if you are not savvy about the way social media works.

5)  Managing your personal brand involves actively managing your work+life fit. While he doesn’t specifically call it work+life fit or “balance,” Schwabel points out that the personal branding process must consider all aspects of your life.  And it will evolve and change over time as your realities change.  As he says, “You can start by asking yourself, ‘Who am I?’ This question seems simple enough, but the truth is that most people don’t truly find out who they are until later in life.”  And even then, the process of self-discovery and understanding continues.  He goes on to discuss the importance of defining “personal success,” a work+life fit concept near and dear to my heart.

To learn more about what’s new in personal branding, you can follow Dan Schawbel and other experts in the area on his Personal Branding blog, on Twitter, and on Facebook.

Let me take this opportunity to thank you for following me and work+life fit on this blog for the last three years, and more recently on Fast Company.com blog, and on Twitter and LinkedIn.  The power of personal branding to connect people and to change the world continues to amaze me!  What’s your personal brand?

Stay tuned-next week, there’s more on the post-recession workplace reality.  I will share my recent interview with Maggie Jackson, the author of one of my favorite books from last year Distracted, where we discuss the need to be less distracted and pay more “attention” in all aspects of our lives.

“Summer Blowback”

While it may seem like I fell off the face of the earth for the past month, in fact I’ve been busy experiencing “summer blowback.” In other words, I’ve been doing all of the things I agreed to do this summer while dealing with my mom’s illness and death without thinking clearly about just how much I’d committed to! Thus the term, “summer blowback.” Lesson learned for the future. However, interestingly I’ve met other people who are dealing with their own version of summer blowback during the last two weeks of September through early October but for different reasons. Are you experiencing “summer blowback?” Let me know!

I may not have blogged in a couple of weeks, but a lot has been happening such as…

My New Fast Company Blog Goes Live!

My new weekly Work+Life “Fit,” Not Balance blog for Fast Company went live this week! My intention is to blog here and for Fast Company once a week and cross-link to both. I knew Fast Company would be a great partner to spread the work+life “fit” message back in October, 2004 when Keith Hammonds interviewed me for his provocative and controversial “Balance is Bunk,” article, so check it out. Continue Reading…

Note from Cali: My terrific guest bloggers continue to help me manage my “fit” as I care for my mom. This week you’re going to hear from Courtney E. Martin, a writer who came to my attention when she wrote an insightful article for American Prospect that included the Work+Life Fit Reality Check research. She is also the author of Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body (Simon & Schuster’s Free Press), and a freelance writer for the New York Times, Newsweek, the Huffington Post and the Christian Science Monitor, among other national publications, as well as an adjunct professor gender studies at Hunter College.

As someone who witnesses how the expectations of Gen-Ys for “balance” and flexibility are forcing many organizations to change, I found Martin’s commentary on how it can’t be a one-way street and how her generation needs to meet the world of work halfway fascinating. Enjoy!

Great, if not Dangerous, Expectations by Courtney E. Martin

As another class of hung over college students cross that graduation stage and grab their very expensive diplomas, I am thinking a lot about the rude awakening that awaits them on the other side. After the celebratory dinners have been eaten, the dorm rooms cleaned out, the summer adventures experienced…the prospect of job/apartment/health insurance/bills will be staring them down hardcore. They may find out that the real world is not all it’s cracked up to be. Or as I put it in my new book Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body, “the real world ain’t no MTV.” Continue Reading…