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Commentary: Yes, Things Are Getting Better… Last Tuesday I spoke to a group of professional women under 30 in New York City. I introduced the work+life “fit” strategies and then two senior executive women presented their personal stories. One was from a large media company, and the other from a large private equity firm, both had children. The final question posed to us during the Q&A was, “Have you seen things really change for the better regarding work+life?” The three of us were unanimous, “Yes, it absolutely has.” Even though we had come at this subject from three completely different perspectives, we all agreed things were improving. This got me thinking about other positive signs I’ve noticed recently.

The signs may be subtle, but the work+life conversation is starting to take a turn toward creative solutions—individually, organizationally, and culturally. Like the green shoots of the spring flowers that are just peeking out, they don’t make much of an impression individually. But, once they all start to bloom, it becomes clear that a change of season has arrived. Here are some small “shoots” of evidence that I take as encouraging signs: Continue Reading…

Redefining Success–Caregiving: What Does it Mean to be a “Good” Caregiver of an Aging Parent?
Adjusting your personal definition of success to support your “fit” is critical. In addition to money, prestige, and advancement, caregiving is one of the aspects of success that you may need to redefine. What does it mean to be a “good” caregiver–father, mother, or adult child of an aging parent—in the context of your desired work+life fit. That definition will be different for everyone.

Last week’s blog posting examined the reasons why work+life is an “everyone” issue. Both men and women experience numerous work+life fit transitions—big and small–over the course of their work and life. One of the most significant transitions comes with undertaking the care of an aging parent. With the diagnosis of my mother’s cancer three weeks ago, I joined the ranks of adult children responsible for the care of a parent facing the question, “What does it mean to be a ‘good’ eldercare giver?” Continue Reading…

For a long time, I’ve challenged the conventional wisdom that work+life is primarily a working mothers’ issue with the proven fact that it’s an “everyone” issue. But recent articles about working mothers versus stay-at-home mothers have convinced me that not only must we recognize once and for all that work+life “fit” isn’t just a working mothers’ issue, BUT that in doing so, we will actually help mothers more. I say this as a working mother with two small children who faces these challenges daily.

This realization hit me while reading the 3/2/06 New York Times article about the stall in the number of mothers returning to the workplace after having children. A former high-tech business development executive with three children was interviewed and talked about how “duped” she felt by her expectations about working after having children. I started thinking about other big work+life “fit” transitions women and men experience over the course of their life and career. And how their expectations related to these experiences are also often not aligned with reality, which leads to similar feelings of being “duped.” Continue Reading…

The story in Lisa Belkin’s Life’s Work column in Sunday’s New York Times about the late Eugene O’Kelly, chairman of KPMG hit a nerve with me. During my vacation, I struggled to honor my pledge not to work at all. That experience forced me to revisit the question that I come back to often: How much of our work+life fit conflict is our own doing? In other words, are we often our own worst enemy when it comes to setting (or rather not setting) boundaries around our work and life? It’s an important question if we hope to effectively combine work and life in the 21st century. Because the answer will require more actively managing the expectations and pressures we put on ourselves everyday.

Mr. O’Kelly’s story in Lisa Belkin’s column exemplifies perfectly how a company can do everything to help employees achieve “balance,” but unless an individual’s personal definition of success and expectations change, it will have no effect. Perhaps, until it’s too late. She talks about Mr. O’Kelly’s book called, Chasing Daylight: How My Forthcoming Death Transformed My Life published after his death. He was the chairman and chief executive of KPMG, one of the country’s largest accounting firms, when he learned last May that he had an inoperable brain tumor. Continue Reading…

Over the past week, there was a flurry of articles about the pending Blackberry shutdown (USA Today 2/3/06; Money 2/1/06). Many focused on the panic high-level individuals in business and government are experiencing as they face the possibility of not being connected to work at all times. (There was even a related article in the Wall Street Journal about Type-A bathrooms–bathrooms outfitted with technology to receive calls, emails, etc).

Running through the individual stories in these articles was a work+life “fit” undertone, even though most of the interviewees were men in very demanding, senior level jobs—lawyers, CEOs, PR Executives, Record Executives. (This is a perfect example of how the term “fit” includes everyone in the same work life conversation, even those who have chosen to devote most of their time and energy to work). These men talked about how their Blackberry was a double-edged sword, waking them up at night, catching them in the bathroom, or on the field at a daughter’s soccer game. But, it also allowed them to be in their own bed or at home, or at their daughter’s game, instead of at the office. Continue Reading…