work+life fit, inc.

How Employees Can Partner with Employers: Work+Life Fit in 5 Days Series

Work+Life Flex “How to” in Pictures: #1 Don’t get stuck on the innovation curve

Work+Life Flex “How to” in Pictures: #3 Focus on fact that same flexibility keeps business open in snowstorm, cares for aging parent (and more)

Work+Life Flex “How to” in Pictures: #4 Making flexibility real takes more than traditional policy, toolkit and training

Post this article to:

Has the moment of respect for the slow “er” lane finally arrived?  I recently read two powerfully persuasive blog posts arguing that it’s time to retire outdated, limiting labels such as, “mommy track,” and “lipstick” entrepreneur.  In other words, it’s time to add a third, valid option to a work+life fit highway.

For too long if you weren’t in the fast lane or stopped at the side of the road, your choice was labeled and judged as somehow “less than.”   And that’s not today’s reality (if it ever was).   Resisting the need to label and, thereby, normalizing all work+life fit choices, makes it easier to move between all three lanes– fast lane, pull-over lane, and a slow”er” lane—throughout a career.  That’s reality.

What’s the slow”er” lane?

I never say “slow” lane, always slow”er” lane because no self-respecting, high achiever would ever be caught in the slow lane, but the slow”er” lane…perhaps.  We need to flexibly shift between the different lanes as determined by our work and personal realities at a given point in time, and feel good about it.   This is especially true in today’s new work+life flex normal.

Sometimes we’ll be in the fast lane.  At other periods, we may pull into the slower lane or stop on the side of the road for awhile.

Historically, the personal and societal judgment that accompanied the choice to pull into the slower lane has kept us stuck physically and conceptually with only two extreme options (fast or stop).  That needs to change.

It’s hard when someone passes you in the fast lane

First, there’s our personal reaction to the slower lane.  In my seminars, we talk about what happens when we find ourselves in the slower lane either by choice or by force.  It can be fine for awhile until you look into the fast lane and see someone passing you by.  It may make you mad and doubt where you are, even though the individual in the fast lane may have a completely different set of circumstances and goals at that moment.  An important part of the work+life fit process is consciously redefining success for yourself to match the fit you are trying to achieve (here and here).

Challenging society’s need to slap a label on it

But then there’s the culture’s powerful need to label , and thereby negate, the choice to pull into the slower lane.  And according to the posts mentioned earlier, it’s time to get rid of two of the most limiting labels, especially for women:  the “mommy track,” “lipstick, or lifestyle” entrepreneurs.

“Mommy track isn’t just for mommies anymore.”

In “The Mommy Track Turns 21,” for Slate.com, Angie Kim, a mother of three and a 1989 graduate of Harvard Law School,  argues that it’s time to retire the “mommy track.”   Not only does it no longer describe the experience of many less-than-fast-lane women, but it limits the ability of men to move comfortably into the slower lane.

As Kim explains in her post, The New York Times coined the term “mommy track” to describe a two-tiered career model for women originally proposed by Felice N. Schwartz in a 1989 Harvard Business Review article, “Management Women and the New Facts of Life,”  “(Schwartz’s) solution: Divide employees in to two groups, one in which career is paramount and the other in which it’s the balancing of career and family that’s most important.”

But two decades later, that neat categorization no longer holds.  According to Kim, “The ‘mommy track’ was renounced at birth for sanctioning boring flextime jobs with low plaster ceilings.  But some of my not-fast-track classmates are using their clout and influence to create prestigious roles….At the moment, only a few, privileged women occupy such a space.  Could a larger, broader set join them?  If the answer is yes, it’s because the mommy track isn’t just for mommies anymore.  Several of my classmates who chose flextime jobs for work-life balance do not have children.  Eight others who work full-time have husbands who stay home or work part-time.  A 2005 Fortune study found that 84% of Fortune 500 male executives surveyed wanted flexible job option to give them more time for things outside of work.”

I agree, it’s time to retire the “mommy track.”  In 1989, Schwartz’s two-tiered career track and The New York Times’ label may have made sense.  But since then, the values and expectations related to work and life have evolved across all demographics, and technology and globalization have transformed the fundamental nature of careers and work, thus rendering the term an anachronism.

However, continuing vigilance of “mommy tracking” is necessary.  This involuntary limitation of the advancement of women because they are or may become mothers can disappear when the culture and employers understand that everyone has a life outside of work, not just mothers.  Losing the label will help.

“I don’t think I’d call them anything but entrepreneurs”

Adelaide Lancaster is the co-founder of In Good Company Workplaces and the co-author with her business partner, Amy Abrams, of the upcoming book, tentatively titled, Good Company: Entrepreneurship for the Rest of Us.

In a recent blog post for the Huffington Post, “Are Women Business Owners Really Second Class Entrepreneurs,” Lancaster argued that it’s time to remove the label “lipstick” or “lifestyle” entrepreneur when describing the “the strong dichotomy that exists in the mind of the general public between businesses that are fast-growing, capital-rich, and highly visible (and undeniably mostly male) and businesses that grow more organically, remain closely held, have greater longevity, have less capital and stay smaller…The first group gets deemed the legitimate ‘real’ entrepreneurs, while the latter group, especially if they are run by women, gets passed off as ‘lifestyle,’ or ‘lipstick’ entrepreneurs.  While in reality businesses in the latter group are run by both men and women, I’ve yet to see a man’s business pejoratively referred to as a ‘lifestyle’ business…I don’t think I’d call them anything but entrepreneurs.”

Lancaster directly challenges society’s definition of success in this area, “The difference between the women we work with and out society’s well-reinforced notion of ‘real’ entrepreneurs is that most of them are focused on long-term viability and sustainability of their venture instead of fast growth and quick sale.  Generally, they are looking to create something that can growth with them overtime, and meet their changing need, and remain something that they can control.”

In other words, these slower lane entrepreneurs are choosing this path for a variety of professional and personal reasons in lieu of growth in the fast lane.  It’s a valid alternative, not “less than” as the labels “lipstick,” or “lifestyle” would infer.   I also agree with Lancaster that valuing the slow growth, sustainable choice of male and female entrepreneurs is critical; however, as she notes, we must continue to expand the access of women to the funding and expertise necessary to take their businesses wherever they want them to go—fast or slow.

Rethinking labels in a “time of no longer and a time of not yet”

As leadership expert Katherine Tyler Scott recently observed in The Washington Post, that “Most of us are experiencing a time of no longer and a time of not yet.”  The limiting extremes of the fast lane or a stop at the side of the road no longer encompass the countless flexible combinations of work and life we will experience today either by choice or involuntarily.

We need to value the third option of the slower lane.  And as Kim and Lancaster point out, this means removing the judgment of outdated labels such as “mommy track,” and “lipstick” entrepreneur that may have applied in a time that’s no longer, but they definitely don’t work today and won’t work in the time yet to come.

What do you think?  What other labels do we need to retire that that too rigidly categorize work+life fit choices in a way that no longer reflects reality?   Maybe even the labels “fast lane,” “slower lane” and “stop at the side of the road” no longer apply!

Post this article to:

Full disclosure…I am a major Gary Vaynerchuk fan.  I’ve read (and highly recommend) his book Crush It!. I think he’s a prophet when describing the impact of social media on business.  I consistently learn from his video blog and Wine Library TV, and even had a chance to see him speak in person (again, highly recommended).

So imagine my excitement yesterday morning when I see that Gary has posted a video, “Work/Work Balance.” (below).  After watching the clip, I realize that, even though he doesn’t know it (because he uses the b-word and focuses on work/work even though he does mention other parts of his life), Gary Vaynerchuk is a work+life fit intuitive in action!

First, what’s a work+life fit intuitive? It’s someone for whom flexibly managing his or her work+life fit day-to-day and at major work and personal transitions is second nature.  The funny thing is that they have no idea how unusual they are, and they often assume everyone else is the same way.  Over the past 15 years working with tens of thousands of people, I’ve estimated that about 10-15% of the population falls into this category…and one of them is Gary Vaynerchuk!

Second, what’s he doing? In the video he explains that he will be resetting or readjusting how he is going to work, what work he is going to focus on, and how he is going to build more time for exercise and his family into his “fit” (although he calls it balance).  Watch the video and you will see he follows the main the steps found in my book and highlighted in the “Work+Life Fit in 5 Days” series from earlier this year:

He recognizes that his work and personal realities have changed.  Over the past three years, Gary has put his heart and soul into expanding his Wine Library TV brand and into helping others leverage their brands using social media.  He prides himself on walking his talk of customer service and interactivity, which was fine until the demands on his time began to grow beyond his capacity to continue to perform the way he wanted to.  Add to this the fact that he became a father for the first time last year.  And, as he has publicly stated, family is very important to him.  Three years ago, his work and personal realities were different.  That “fit” no longer works, so he’s making a change that’s a win-win for him and his business.

He is creating a new, clear vision of what he wants his new work+life fit to look like and how we will flexibly manage it. If you listen to the video, he describes the work he is going to let go of (mostly travel for speeches), and he talks about how he is going to perhaps create public Q&A sessions so he can stay in direct touch with people in a more efficient way.  He interjects that he’s going to find more time for the basketball court and being with his family, although there’s still A LOT of work in his work+life fit.  He’s answered the smallest, hardest question: What do I want?

He challenges his fears. Even Gary Vaynerchuk encounters the fear roadblock as he gets ready to reset his work+life fit.  We all do!  But he challenges it. His fear is that if he isn’t as generous with his time–spending hours in the store one on one with people or going out to dinner every time someone asks–people will think he sold out and is no longer authentic.  But he challenges it in part with the video and by explaining what he is doing and why.  Plus, his is brainstorming other ways to keep that connectivity without the level of time commitment.

He is redefining success to match his new work+life fit. For the past few years, his definition of success was sharing what he knows (either about wine or social media) and trying to help others understand how it could help them.   But now he’s feeling like he needs to stop and “execute” for awhile.  Learn, read, and know more.  From that doing and learning work, he will ultimately be more valuable and more helpful.  That’s his new definition of success, and it matches the change he’s putting into place.

Gary, good luck!  And add “work+life fit intuitive” to your list of your accomplishments.

Did Gary Vaynerchuk’s work+life fit reset inspire you?  I know it’s reaffirmed the decision I made a couple of months ago to reset my work+life fit to finish two big writing projects I’ve been trying to complete for the past year.  I’m pleased to report that one writing project is down, and I have one to go!

Post this article to:

When I saw the movie, “Up in the Air,” I expected to be entertained but I wasn’t prepared for a powerful, multi-layered allegory about work+life fit.

Jason Reitman’s symbolism packed commentary puts up a mirror and challenges us to question key assumptions about work and life today reality.  But it also offers insights into what we can do differently as we move into an era where greater work+life flexibility will be the norm.

Here are a few of my takeaways.  I would love to hear what you think if you’ve seen the movie.

(Spoiler alert—Stop here if you don’t want key points of the movie’s plot revealed.)

Insight #1:  Some people really do like working all of the time.  But we need to stop celebrating their work+life fit as the bar against which we are measured (and fail), and respectfully see their choices as the aberration that happens to work for them…for now.

At the beginning of the movie, George Clooney’s character, Ryan Bingham, genuinely loves his work+life fit.  And it’s a fit that’s all work and no life.  In fact, he likes it so much that he develops a series of motivational speeches extolling the virtue of the “baggage free” life to others.

The movie did a great job of showing how we collectively as a culture tend to romanticize Bingham’s fit.  It’s glamorous—fancy hotels, honors clubs, first class seats.   In fact, his speeches are so successful that by the end of the movie he’s asked to present at a large, prestigious venue.  We want that life, but do we?

The role of work+life fit foil is played by Bingham’s junior-level colleague, Natalie.  Initially when we meet Natalie, she seems to hold many of the same values as her more senior, experienced colleague.  So it’s surprising when she begins to actively and forcefully challenge his work+life fit choices as she comes to terms, often painfully, with what she really wants personally and professionally.

First, she tries to get him to agree with and embrace her vision of a work+life fit that includes a partner and a family.  Then, she attempts to take on his values and change herself to conform.  But, it’s like watching someone put on a suit that doesn’t fit. Very uncomfortable.
In the end, she’s made him think differently, but he hasn’t fundamentally changed.  Instead, she realizes that she needs to make herself happy and finds another job.

Insight #2: Life eventually creeps in for even the most hard core “all work/no life” person, whether by choice or by force….(Click here for more)

Post this article to:

Yesterday, we kicked off the “Work+Life Fit in 5 Days” how-to series of highlights from the  Work+Life Fit™ process.  The goal is to give you the tools to take control and manage your work+life fit in a way that meets your personal needs and the needs of your job in 2010.

Day 1 we defined “What is Work+Life Fit?” and how to “See the Possibilities.”

At this point people usually say, “Okay, show me how to create my work+life fit.”  Hold up.  There’s one interim step to complete BEFORE we get to the roadmap to create your plan.  But almost everyone omits this critical exercise, and it’s the reason so many efforts to manage work and life creatively and flexibly unnecessarily fail.  We get tripped up, and don’t even know it until we’ve thrown in the towel.

The trick is to know how to see, avoid and challenge the common work+life fit roadblocks that will inevitably pop up along the way before you begin.  Today, Day 2, we identify and challenge Success Roadblocks.

Success Roadblocks—Money and Prestige (Day 2)

When I’m asked, “What’s the most important tip for successfully managing your work+life fit?”  My answer is always the same…you have to flexibly and constantly redefine success so that your definition matches the fit you are trying to achieve.  If you don’t, you will feel dissatisfied, frustrated and give up.

For all the countless ways to flexibly manage your work+life fit day-to-day and at major career and life transitions, there have to be as many definitions of success.  Unfortunately, we (as individuals and as a culture) still hold onto very linear, rigid limits around what success can look like.  Unless you consciously challenge these boundaries, you won’t be able to adjust your fit as your work and personal circumstances change and feel good about it.

The aspects of success that give people the most trouble are money, prestige, advancement and care giving.  (I cover money and prestige in this post.  Click here to go to my Fast Company blog for more on advancement and caregiving).

Money—Redefining Success

Excerpt from Work+Life: Finding the Fit That’s Right for You:

“We start with money because, in my opinion, it’s the chief obstacle standing between most people and a better work+life fit.  Money is something over which many people feel they have very little control.  As a result, they often feel trapped not only in a job situation where they are financially successful, but trapped in a lifestyle that success enables.  So as their work and/or personal realities change, they feel incapable of changing their successful lifestyles in order to adjust their work+life fit.

The truth is not only do you have control over the choices you make with your money, but you can change those choices at any time.  This is the primary strategy for moving beyond a money-related success roadblock…” (Click here for more and to print or download PDF)

Takeaway Action Steps for Challenging Money-Related Success:

Test the flexibility of your definition of success related to money so that you are prepared. The recession confirmed (painfully in many cases) that non-linear career paths are now the norm.  Ongoing rapid change is part the global market in which we operate. It requires organizations to nimbly adapt the way they do business, and in turn, individuals to flexibly manage their work+life fit.  Whether by choice or by force, you may find you have to substitute money in your definition of success by placing greater value on other aspects of your job and/or life.

For example, during the downturn, I’ve watched how differently individuals responded to their employer’s use of strategic flexibility (e.g. reduced schedules, furloughs and sabbaticals) to minimize the number of layoffs, while cutting labor costs.  Many people were able to flexibly redefine success to match their change in circumstances.  To make up for less money, they substituted having more time for their personal lives and gratitude for having a job in their definition of success.  The result was a commitment to partner with their employer to turn things around.

But others responded quite differently.  In the face of flexible downsizing, they were unable to redefine success related to money.  It didn’t matter that they and their colleagues were still employed, and that they had more time for their personal lives.  They felt undervalued and immediately began looking for another job even though many worked in industries with widespread layoffs and few job prospects.  They weren’t able to redefine success related to money and make the most of their new work+life fit reality.   Their commitment and sense of well-being suffered as a result.

A flexible definition of success related to money gives you access to more work+life fit options throughout your career and lifetime. The Baby Boomers who are choosing lower-paying, but more satisfying Encore Careers as an alternative to traditional retirement are great examples.  This transition wouldn’t be possible unless they redefined success related to money.

Plan, budget, and make better, albeit sometimes difficult, money choices that support greater flexibility. There are a number of terrific resources online that provide personal finance information to get you started.  Here are couple of my favorites:

• Manisha Thakor, co-author of “On My Own Two Feet” targeting women, and “Get Financially Naked,” to help couples talk about money.
• Jean Chatzky, Make Money Make Sense Blog
• Rick Kahler, series of books and advice about our perceptions and mindsets related to money

Don’t wait until everyone else shares your commitment to a more flexible definition of success related to money before you start. While the recession has caused a fundamental resetting of our collective cultural relationship to money and debt in the U.S., financial rewards are still a very primary metric of success.  But you can’t wait until everyone else around you begins the process of broadening the rigid limits they put around success.  In the excerpt above, read how Clark started to redefine success related to money in order to adjust his work+life fit even though everyone else in his law firm kept financial rewards as their primary success metric.

Prestige—Redefining Success

Excerpt from Work+Life: Finding the Fit That’s Right for You:

“Having a better work+life fit means making trade-offs. Sometimes the trade-off is between having more time and flexibility for your personal life or working for a prestigious organization or holding a prestigious position.

Does that mean you can’t work for a well-known company and hold a high-profile position and have more flexibility? No, not necessarily. There are well-known, prestigious companies that embrace employee efforts to address work/life conflict. If your current or prospective employer falls into this category, they may support your proposal. And there are people in positions that others would define as prestigious who have creatively found ways to fit work into their lives. Hopefully, if you have achieved such a position, you will leverage your value and experience to do the same.

But what if you can’t? What do you do if your prestigious company doesn’t support your arrangement or your prestigious position simply requires more time and energy than your desired work+life fit would allow? You hit a prestige-related roadblock and are derailed…” (Click here for more and to print or download PDF)

Takeaway Action Steps for Challenging Prestige-Related Success:

Work for a less well known, but perhaps smaller, more flexible organization. You don’t always have to work for Goldman Sachs.  Maybe you work for the no-name financial group, doing work you enjoy (albeit less prestigious) but getting the work+life fit you need given your current circumstances.  This may require redefining success related to money as well. See Cindy and Alexandra’s stories in above excerpt.

Take a less high-profile position with tasks and responsibilities that accommodate the time and energy available in your work+life fit. The mere thought of giving up responsibilities or a title can cause people to shudder.  But it’s not only possible at certain points in your life, it may be necessary and desirable. Replace the prestige of your position and type work you do with other aspects of your life.  In the chapter excerpt above, read how Glen redefined success related to the prestige of the level he held and found the perfect post-retirement consulting project.

Challenge the more subtle, yet insidious prestige-related definitions of success that can undermine your work+life fit.  Clarify true expectations. These subtle expectations are the pressures we put on ourselves about what we “should” do.  They relate to participation in certain meetings, the response times for emails after hours, or face time expectations in the office.  For example, do you put pressure on yourself to answer every email rapidly day or night without clarifying your managers’ expectations?  Do you put unnecessary pressure on yourself to always be the first one in or the last one out at night, even though it’s not vital for your job?

What are some of the money and prestige roadblocks you’ve encountered as you flexibly manage your work+life fit?  How did you avoid or challenge them?   Share your tips!

Click here for more “Success Roadblocks:  Advancement and Caregiving (Day 2)” on my Fast Company blog.

Entire “Work+Life Fit in 5 Days” Series:

Day 1: What is Work+Life Fit? / Seeing the Possibilities

Day 2:  Challenge Roadblocks — Redefine Success:  Money and Prestige / Advancement and Caregiving

Day 3:  Challenge Roadblocks — Fear

Day 4:  What Do You Want? / Your Internal Guidance and My Story

Day 5:  Creating Your Work+Life Fit Plan–Making It a Win-Win

Want more?
•    Order the book with the entire Work+Life Fit process: in print or on Kindle at www.Amazon.com
•    Sign up to receive a weekly email of blog post highlights and/or the RSS feed in the upper right corner of the blog.
•    Follow me on Twitter @caliyost

Post this article to:

Why do you work?  As we emerge from the rubble of the Great Recession, an increasing number of people from a variety of sectors and in different stages of life are searching for a more meaningful “why” behind the work they do.

Paying the bills continues to be important, but there’s a growing awareness that work needs to be about more than money.  As we have seen, the money either isn’t going to be there in the amounts it was before or it can disappear in an instant.  Here are some of the discussions about and resources supporting the movement to find paid work with greater meaning that have come to my attention over the past week.

Looking for an Encore Career?  The guide to finding work that matters by Encore Careers

As they approach traditional “retirement,” many Baby Boomers want to work and make money but they also want their work to have greater purpose.  Following its recently announced Encore Opportunity Awards, Civic Ventures paves the way to a purpose-driven job with its excellent new guide, “Looking for an Encore Career?”

According to Marci Alboher, Senior Fellow with Civic Ventures, the core tenents of an Encore Career are 1) continued income, 2) personal meaning, and 3) social impact, “This generation is looking to change the world in this next phase of their lives.  They are returning to the values of Kennedy, and they are interested in service, giving back and having impact.”  Many of areas in which people have launched successful encore careers have also seen some of the greatest job growth:  social services, government, education and green jobs.

Alboher and I agree that everyone should begin their “encore planning” as early as possible because this is the new vision of retirement.  And much of the planning for an encore career can, and should, be done while you are still working in your primary job.  You can chart the winding path of research, informational interviews, conferences and trying out different options.  When the moment arrives to make the transition, you are ready.

And you don’t necessarily need to wait until retirement.  The Encore Career guide is an excellent resource for anyone in any stage of life looking for a purpose-driven job.  In fact, I realized after reading the guide and talking to Marci that I started my encore career in 1993 at the age of 29.  That’s when I left banking, went back to school and entered the work+life field.   For the past 16 years, I’ve made money (albeit initially less than I made as a banker), found personal meaning and have had social impact.  I need to start planning my second encore!

Finding Meaning in Your Current Job – Authentic Organizations Blog

As CV Harquail points out in an insightful post on her Authentic Organization’s blog, you don’t have to leave your current job to find more meaning.  In “How Job Crafting Can Get You Closer to Authentic Work,” Harquail, a former Darden b-school professor, explains how the revolutionary concept of job crafting (also outlined in a recent Time Magazine article) can help everyone build more meaning into their existing work…(Click here for more)

Post this article to:

As reported in The Wall Street Journal‘s The Juggle blog, Jack Welch was quoted at a recent SHRM conference as saying “There is no such thing as balance.”  While his comments set off a firestorm of response, fundamentally, I believe he is correct–there is no balance.   However, his explanation of “why” needs updating.

He’s right that we need to stop talking about “balance.”  The sooner we discontinue thinking that there’s a right answer or “balance,” the quicker we will see that every one of us has a different work+life fit at different times in our lives.  There isn’t one  way to make work and life fit together.  Only what works for us and the realities of our jobs.

But here’s where the “why” behind his argument needs to be updated:

Update #1: He, along with almost everyone else, is stuck in the land of  the “all or nothing / CEO or stay at home parent” which is not where most of us live: Unfortunately, Jack Welch and many of those responding to his comments online are still stuck in the all-or-nothing, all work-or-no work dichotomy. This  keeps us from seeing the many creative, flexible ways to manage our unique work+life fit that exist between the extreme all-work reality of a CEO like Jack Welch, or the no-work reality of a parent who chooses to leave the workforce for an extended period of time to care for their children.  That doesn’t mean work-primary CEOs or life-primary stay-at-home parents are wrong.  Their work+life fit choices work for them–but most of us live somewhere in the middle along that continuum.

Image how different this story would be if Jack Welch had responded to the question, “Look, I chose to become the CEO of GE therefore I had to give 100% of my time and attention to work.  That was my choice; however, that isn’t the only way of managing work and life if your goal isn’t to become the CEO of a multi-national company.”

Update #2: It isn’t just about moms and women. To be fair, Jack Welch was being interviewed at the SHRM conference by Claire Shipman who just wrote a book Womenomics, therefore, chances are the conversation was about women which is why he answered it in that context.  However, the fact of the matter is we need to stop talking about work+life issues as women’s issues.  In today’s economy, we all–men and women–need to strategically manage our individual work+life fit choices day-to-day and at major life and career transitions such as partnering, parenthood, elder care, and retirement.

Update #3:  It’s also about flexibly redefining success. Just as there’s no one right way to combine work and life, there is no longer one rigid, linear definition of success.  Welch did reference the fact that if you take a career break “you may be passed over for a promotion,” and “that doesn’t mean you can’t have a nice career.”  What he’s saying is there are many different ways to define success personally and professionally, at different times in our lives.  Yes, you may choose to pull into the slower lane from the fast lane when passed over for a promotion but that doesn’t mean later when your circumstances change you won’t raise your hand and pull back into the fast lane (as you define it).  Remember, Welch was a CEO; therefore, anything less than that would probably be a “nice” career to him, but a very successful career to everyone else.

Bottom line,  it’s work+life fit, not balance.  There is no right answer.  It’s not all-or-nothing, either be a  CEO or a stay at home parent.  There are countless flexible, work+life fit options in between which is where most of us live.  And that’s where we need to focus our discussion and problem-solving.  It’s not just women, it is all of us at all stages of our lives.  The sooner all of us, including Jack Welch, realize this, the faster we will begin to have a productive, up to date dialogue that moves us forward.

Thanks, Jack Welch, for keeping this important “there is no balance” debate on the radar screen.  What do you think?

(Update: Since writing this post, I’ve learned that Jack Welch is recovering from a very serious spinal infection.  My thoughts and prayers are with him and his family for a full recovery.)

Post this article to:

One of the keys to actively managing your work+life fit is flexibly redefining success.  Think of your work+life fit as a highway.  Too many of us see only the fast lane or a stop at the side of the road.  But the truth is there are three options—a fast lane, stop at the side of the road, and a “slower” lane.  The countless work+life fit possibilities involve moving back and forth across all lanes over the course of a flexible career between the fast lane and the slower lane, and sometimes pulling off the road for awhile.  We all know about the fast track, and about taking a break.  But we don’t hear much about what it means to move into the slower lane.  What does it look like?  How do you do it?

Notice I didn’t say “slow” lane, because no self-respecting high-achiever ever wants to admit to being in the slow lane.  But the slower lane…perhaps.   In theory, it may not sound bad at all, until you look back over into the fast lane.  What’s happening?  Someone is passing you by.  That can be very difficult.  But sometimes we have no choice.

The all or nothing, all work or no work, fast lane/stop at the side of the road mentality doesn’t reflect today’s work+life fit reality especially in this economy.  As we found in the 2009 Work+Life Fit Reality Check, a majority said they are less likely to leave the workforce to care for children or aging parents, and a majority now plan to do some type of paid work in retirement.  Taken together, we have to honestly examine what a shift into the “slower” lane involves, since it will mean something different for each of us.

Grey’s Anatomy’s Dr. Miranda Bailey Painfully Redefines Success…

The season finale of Grey’s Anatomy unexpectedly granted my wish for more examples of shifts into the slower lane.  Chief Resident, Dr. Miranda Bailey made the painful move out of the fast lane by turning down a prestigious fellowship for the less demanding position of general surgeon.  This well written and acted episode accurately depicted the conflicting considerations and emotions behind her decision.

For those of you who are not Grey’s Anatomy fans, here’s Dr. Bailey’s backstory:  Season after season, Dr. Bailey continued her determined ascent up the ladder.  She overcame professional setbacks, even if that meant periodically showing up at the hospital with her young son, William, in tow.  Although her marriage to her husband Tucker struggled, it had seemed to be back on track.

As Chief Resident, she had to choose an area of specialization.  While she liked general surgery, midway through the season it seemed she’d found her true passion as a pediatric surgeon.  She began to pursue a prestigious fellowship for two additional years of training, which would keep her in the fast lane.

But when Dr. Bailey receives the news she’d won the fellowship, she goes to the hospital’s Chief of Staff, Dr. Richard Webber. She asks him if there is still an opening for her as a general surgeon.  He says there is but admits he’s confused.  He’d supported her for the fellowship because he thought it was what she wanted, and with that she confesses, “It is, but Tucker said if I took the fellowship our marriage was over.  I need the consistency of a general surgeon’s schedule to be home at night as much as possible.”  She goes on to say that she’s decided to leave her husband anyway because that’s no way to have a marriage, and she catches her breath as she concludes, “I am now a single mother, and need to be home for my son…”

And then there’s the reaction of Dr. Arizona Robbins, the doctor who sponsored her, “You don’t turn down a fellowship like this!” Her response symbolizes the toughest part of pulling into the slower lane–the outside voices telling you what you “should,” “ought,” and “can’t” do.

So how does being a general surgeon put you in the slower lane?”  For Dr. Bailey, turning down that fellowship meant she had to redefine success.  She settled for a position she enjoys and will give her the work+life fit she needs right now, but it isn’t her passion and doesn’t have the same prestige.   To her mind and perhaps in the minds of her colleagues, Miranda Bailey is in the slower lane.

How I missed seeing Michelle Obama speak….

Actively managing your work+life fit and consciously redefining success doesn’t just happen at major life reset points, like a divorce or potential promotion.  It’s something we do on a daily basis, and it never gets easier…even for me.

The last three weeks my schedule has included more than the usual amount of travel (thus, the light blogging).  When I committed to the opportunities that took me to Boston, Chicago and then Lexington, Kentucky I knew there would be very little room for any last minute additions to my work+life fit—personal or professional.  Then I got an invitation to attend the Corporate Voices for Working Families conference in Washington DC.

The conference sounded wonderful, and I knew many of my favorite work+life industry colleagues would be there.  But looking at my calendar I saw that if I attended the conference I would have to fly from Chicago to Washington and be away for the last two days of my older daughter’s statewide standardized tests.  Because these tests partially influence her placement in Junior High School next year, she was more nervous than usual.  So I declined the conference invitation in order to be home.

I was disappointed, but happy with my decision, until the first day of the conference when I received an email from one of the attendees telling me about Michelle Obama’s fabulous speech! Michelle Obama?! Yes, Michelle Obama delivered an unannounced speech at the conference that I had consciously chosen not to attend!  (Click here to read the post by Ellen Galinsky of Families and Work Institute about her meeting with the First Lady).

I spent the rest of the day reading articles and blog posts about her speech.   I found myself thinking of what it must have been like for my “fast lane” colleagues who attended the conference to hear her speak about a subject many of us have spent more than 15 years studying and promoting.   Had I missed a once in a lifetime opportunity?  What had I done?  But all of my doubts were erased when I put my daughter to bed that night and she said, “Mom thanks for being here.  It made me feel better in my tests.”  I’d said no to the conference, pulled into the slower lane, missed Michelle Obama, and made the right decision.

Maybe I’ll see Michelle Obama another time, and maybe Dr. Miranda Bailey will get that fellowship in a couple of years.  But we both actively managed our work+life fit and redefined success in a way that worked best for us, for our jobs and our personal realities at a given point in time.  There’s no right answer.  Today, we pulled into the “slower” lane, as we defined it.  The next time the decision may be to put our blinker on and pull back into the fast lane again.  It’s not all or nothing…as hard as that may be sometimes.

How many lanes are in your work+life fit highway?  Have you even pulled into the slower lane as you define it, either by choice or circumstance?  What did that look like and what did it involve?

Post this article to:

“The National Study of the Changing Workforce is here!  The National Study of the Changing Workforce is here!”  Yes, that’s how I responded when I received the 2008 National Study of the Changing Workforce (NSCW). Ever since I worked at Families and Work Institute, the NSCW has been one of my favorite pieces of research (yes, I have favorite pieces of research).  Not only does the NSCW offer a very accurate snapshot of the prevailing work+life reality in a given period of time.  But, more importantly, it gives us an opportunity to step back and see if the way we are collectively talking about and thinking about work and life matches reality.  In my opinion, it doesn’t.

My recent conversation with a female MBA student at one of the top business schools provides a perfect example.  She called to interview me for the student newspaper and wanted some tips for women MBAs about how to manage their work and life after they got out of school.  My first tip—“Realize that managing work and life isn’t just an issue for women.  In fact, men report higher levels of work-life conflict.”  Not surprisingly, she responded, “What? Really?” It wasn’t until I showed her the results of the NSCW, and she confirmed the findings with male MBA students that she began to understand how outdated her assumptions were.

Here are other highlights from the NSCW that together create a snapshot of today’s work-life reality.  As you read, ask yourself, does the picture below inform the way:
•    I think about and talk about work-life issues (even if different than my own circumstances)?
•    My manager/employer thinks about, talks about, and addresses work-life issues?
•    The media presents work-life issues?
•    The government addresses work-life issues?

Reality #1: Women and men under 29 years old are equally likely to want jobs with greater responsibility, which was not the case in the past when men were more likely to report wanting more responsibility.

Reality #2: Women under 29 years old with children are no less likely than women without children to want jobs with more responsibility, which was not the case in the past when women with children were less likely to want jobs with more responsibility.

Reality #3: Women’s labor force participation continues to increase, with 71% of mothers with children under the age of 18 working in 2007.  In 2005-2006, women earned a majority of all bachelor’s degrees (58%) and master’s degrees (60%).

Reality #4: 79% of married employees are part of a dual-earner couple (up from 66% in 1977).  In 2008, women contributed 44% of the annual dual-earner family income, up from 39% in 1997, which makes the loss of their jobs even more detrimental.

Reality #5: For the first time in 2008, the percentage of men and women who agree with the statement that “it’s better for all involved if the man earns the money and the woman takes care of the home and children” was inconsequential and not significantly different (42% of men and 39% of women in 2008, versus 74% of men and 52% of women in 1977).

Reality #6: In 2008, 73% of respondents either strongly or somewhat agreed that “a mother who works outside the home can have just as good a relationship with her children as a mother who does not work,” a big increase from 58% in 1977. Interestingly, even though a majority of men agreed with the statement in 2008 (67%), they do still lag behind the women (80%).

Reality #7: Employed fathers are spending significantly more time with their children under 13 than they did in 1977, with millennial fathers reporting the biggest increase.  Men are also:
•    Taking more responsibility for the care of the children (49% say they take more or equal share of care in 2008, versus 41% in 1992)
•    Doing more or an equal share of the cooking (56% of men in 2008, versus 34% in 1992)
•    Doing more or an equal share of the house cleaning (53% of men in 2008 versus 40% in 1992).

Reality #8: Not surprisingly, “Men’s reported level of work-life conflict has risen significantly from 34% in 1977 to 45% in 2008, while women’s work-life conflict has increased less dramatically and not significantly: from 34% in 1977 to 39% in 2008.” And the level of conflict is even higher for dual-earner fathers, with 59% experiencing some or a lot of conflict in 2008, versus 45% of dual-earner mothers.

What did you think?  Does the reality outlined above inform the way:
•    You think about and talk about work-life issues?
•    Your manager/employer thinks about, talks about, and addresses work-life issues?
•    The media presents work-life issues?
•    The government addresses work-life issues?

I think we have a long way to go before the perceptions and the debate related to work-life issues on all of these levels matches reality.  Hopefully, the NSCW will help close the gap. What do you think?

A couple of interesting work-life resources/opportunities:

1. Work & Family Life is a monthly, cost-effective magazine that companies and organizations can distribute to their employees.  Work & Family Life is full of great work-life related information (click here to view a recent issue).  For more information contact the publisher, Dr. Susan Ginsburg at workfam@aol.com or 1-800-278-2579
2. Are you a mom interested in sharing what it was like to transition from working woman to working mom?  FWO Consulting is conducting a national online survey of moms to learn more about this often challenging change.  To learn more about FWO and the survey, go to http://www.fwoconsulting.com/.   Another resource for women transitioning to motherhood is provided by Rachel Egan at Maternity Transitions www.rachelegan.com.

Post this article to:

With a front page article in this week’s New York Times, the use of work+life flexibility as an alternative to layoffs continues to gain momentum.   However, as I noted last week, four-day workweeks, reduced schedules, sabbaticals, telecommuting and flexible scheduling are not just isolated, downsizing tactics.  They are part of a broad, coordinated growth and cost-cutting business strategy with multiple benefits that include, but are not limited to, creative downsizing.  We are missing an important opportunity by not discussing flexibility in this larger context. 

Since August 2008, I have written (here, here, here, and here) and spoken (here), about work+life flexibility as critical strategy that allows organizations and individuals to rapidly and flexibly adapt to challenges that are presenting themselves at an accelerated rate.
 
In fact, the findings from the September, 2008 CFO Perspectives on Work Life Flexibility that we conducted with BDO Seidman, LLP were some of the earliest results to confirm that CFOs–the financial leaders in organizations–view flexibility as a strategic lever with a broad range of business impacts.  And, approximately one-quarter of the CFOs were ahead of the curve by incorporating different forms of flexibility into past downsizing strategies.
   
Why does this matter?  Because today we are grappling with how to respond to the recession, but after that, it will be something else.  Using strategic flexibility to rethink the way work is done, life is managed and business succeeds will help us not only survive, but thrive in an environment where change will be the only constant.  But we won’t be able to use work+life flexibility as a business growth and cost-cutting strategy to respond to these changes if we don’t see the possibilities. (Click here for more)

Post this article to: