Tom’s Story

I met Tom last night when I spoke to a group of accountants who had been with their firm less than four years. Tom was one of the leaders in charge of these new hires, and his presence confirmed his value to the firm. Only the most high-potential leaders are usually invited to attend these events.

He asked what my speech was about. I told him I would show the group how each employee could begin to strategically partner with the firm to manage their unique work+life “fit” throughout the transitions in their life and career. “That’s great,” he said, “because it’s a struggle for all of us including me.” And with that he opened his laptop and asked, “Want to see my son?” Tom showed me pictures of his adorable child. “That’s my boy,” he said with a huge smile on his face. Then he got serious. “You know, it’s so hard to find time with him, and to be a help to my wife who is home full-time but still needs support. When I get home most nights at 9:00 p.m., I’m not seeing my son at all, and my wife is going to bed because she’s so exhausted. I’m glad to see you’re here because I wonder sometimes if there’s a place for me at this firm because my family is so important to me.” “Oh no,” I thought to myself, “not again.”

Continue Reading…

This past week I spoke on a terrific panel at the Executives Moms Spring Luncheon in New York City (www.executivemoms.com). The title of the discussion was “Over FULFILLED…(Or Never Quite)? What Lies Beneath the Complicated, Driven, Rewarding Life of an Executive Mom?”

The panel was moderated by Good Morning America’s weekend host, Kate Snow, who is the mom of two children under 3 years old. Joining me as a panelist was Barbara K (http://www.barbarak.com), a mother of one son, who sells the well-known barbarak brand of tools for women and will be appearing on her own home improvement show on the E! Network. And Lisa McCloud, the author of Forget Perfect: For Every Woman Who Has Ever Put Herself Last on Her Own Priority List, who is the mother of two daughters (www.forgetperfect.com). Continue Reading…

British Conservative Party Leader David Cameron, the 39 year old top contender to replace Tony Blair in the UK’s upcoming elections, caused a stir this week. In a controversial speech at the Google Zeitgeist Europe 2006 Conference in England, he laid out “work/life” as a key focus of his party’s political agenda. (Full transcript of the speech).

His speech was remarkable for the mere fact that it happened. But also because it was delivered by the leader of the country’s pro-business party. When the right-of-center candidate says “Improving our society’s sense of well-being is, I believe, the central political challenge of out times,” it’s clear that governmental leaders are beginning to see the need for new models for managing work and the rest of life. Cameron believes that for individuals and nations to thrive in the 21st Century, “Our goal is clear: to move beyond a belief in the Protestant work ethic alone to a modern vision of ethical work.” Continue Reading…

Two Companies where Flexibility is an Employee-Employer Partnership

This week I had the privilege of working with two of the most forward-thinking organizations in terms of work+life flexibility, one is a large investment bank, and the other is one of the Big Four accounting firms. Both organizations have flexibility strategies that are far along the innovation curve. They don’t see flexibility as a policy or a benefit managed and implemented from the top-down. Rather, they see it as a mutually-beneficial process where both the organization and the individual play an active role.

The SVP of Global Diversity and Inclusion in charge of flexibility at the investment bank and I partnered to conduct a teleseminar for some of the top Fortune 500 HR executives as part of BizSummit.com’s speakers series. We presented the model for how we work together to create that employee-employer partnership within the firm. Continue Reading…

It’s an “Everyone” Issue, So Everyone Needs to Participate in the Conversation

I want to sit down with men and explain why the time has come for them to stop hiding in the “flexibility” closet. They are an important voice. And they are a necessary voice if we, as a culture, are going to move issue of work+life flexibility out of the “mommy” category and recognize that it’s an “everyone” issue in the 24/7 work reality of the 21st Century.
Recently I helped a client put together an event showcasing the successful use of flexibility in their organization. The goal was to explain how flexibility can be an effective work+life “fit” management tool for the individual and a strategic management tool for the managers. Continue Reading…

Frequent readers know that I consciously steer clear of the ongoing “Moms versus Work” debate because I believe:

• Work+Life is not just a “mothers” issue, it’s an “everyone” issue
• Making it a mothers-only issue actually hurts women, not helps
• It doesn’t get us any closer to a solution, but keeps us mired in the problem
• Only a privileged, minority of mothers who have the financial wherewithal to live on one salary can really engage in this debate. Most mothers need to work and are left feeling guilty that they aren’t able to make a different choice.

That said, here I am anyway. Because I believe the mommy wars/opting out/off ramps and on ramps conversation is way off track. We’ve gotten stuck in a circular, emotionally-charged, all-or-nothing debate that misses not only the countless work+life “fit” possibilities, but also overlooks some key facts that really should influence a mother’s decision whether or not to work. Continue Reading…

“I’d love to change the way work fits into my life, but I have too much of it,” is one of the top three excuses people use for not finding a better work+life “fit.” Too much work, or overwork, is part of the challenge of the 24/7 work reality. According to the 2004 study Overwork in America by Families and Work Institute (FWI), “one-third of all U.S. employees can be viewed as chronically overworked.” Ironically, being overworked is the reason these individuals need a new “fit.” But they don’t try to create a new fit because they have too much work. It’s vicious cycle. Getting past the excuses and finding a solution requires answering the question: “What is overwork?” But, there’s not a straight-forward answer. Here’s why: Continue Reading…

Work+Life “Fit” in the 4/16/06 New York Times, Career Couch Column – See my advice to people who want a life but have bosses who expect long hours in today’s 24/7 work reality….

Work+Life Research Round-up—Even More Confirmation of the New Work+Life “Fit” Reality

I am not alone in seeing a new 21st Century work+life “fit”reality. A number of recently released studies reinforce the message that strategic, mutually-beneficial work+life “fit” partnerships between individuals and employers are a key driver of future corporate competitive advantage and personal success. Continue Reading…

Meredith Viera’s move to the Today Show (NYT 4/6/06) reinforces a powerful and important message. Strategically adjusting your work+life “fit” to support your unique realities actually helps your career in the long run. It allows you to continue doing work you love, while finding time and energy for your personal life. But it requires seeing beyond the “all or nothing,” and redefining success for yourself, so that you feel good about the “fit” you are pursuing—even if other people don’t understand it. Continue Reading…

The work+life topic in the media this week is the downside of the 24/7 work reality (WSJ- 3/25/06, New York Times-3/26/06, NBC Nightly News). Most of these stories focused on longer hours, specifically people getting to work earlier. While I can see where this might be a negative development for some people, my first reaction was, “This is great!” I love getting up early. My optimal work day would start at 6:30 a.m., and end around 4:00 p.m. In fact, most mornings I’m at the gym by 5:45 a.m. But by 8:00 p.m., I’m worthless (I am notorious for falling asleep in even the noisiest places if I’m out too late).

There are a lot of early birds out there—catch us at 6:00 a.m., we’re on fire. But after 5:00 p.m., prop us up in a corner so we’re out of the way. There are an equal number of people on the other end of the spectrum—the night owls. These folks don’t begin to function before noon, and are at their most creative after 9:00 p.m. And, of course, there are endless variations in between. Continue Reading…